The end-of-year holidays are often filled with excitement, but for many neurodivergent individuals, this season can bring significant stress. With up to 20% of the global population being neurodivergent, it is vital to discuss strategies that create space for joy without demanding resilience. This guide offers practical tips for navigating holiday gatherings and seasonal pressures.
By understanding potential stressors and preparing ahead, neurodivergent adults can create a more comfortable and enjoyable holiday experience. These strategies focus on setting boundaries, communicating needs, and prioritizing personal well-being.
How Can Neurodivergent Individuals Navigate Holiday Gatherings?
Holiday gatherings can be a source of stress due to sensory overload, social burnout, and a loss of control. In fact, 52% of adults with learning and thinking differences report that their neurodivergence impacts their ability to attend and participate in holiday social events. To better manage these events, some neurodivergent individuals may find it helpful to:
- Set sensory boundaries
- Coordinate with hosts
- Rehearse answers to common questions
These proactive steps help create a more predictable and comfortable environment.
Set and Maintain Sensory Boundaries
You might notice when a room feel too loud, crowded, or has a scent that’s overwhelming. It is perfectly acceptable to find a quieter space to socialize, and you can invite a smaller group to join you.
You do not owe anyone an explanation for your choices. However, if you wish to communicate your preference, use confident language. For example, say, “I’m going to sit in the living room because I’m more comfortable there. Feel free to join me for a chat!”
Consider bringing sensory aids that have helped you in the past, such as:
- Ear defenders or headphones
- Sunglasses
- Stimming objects
Coordinate with the Host
If you are not hosting, contact the host beforehand to arrange accommodations that can help you feel more in control. This can make a significant difference in your comfort level during the event.
Consider these requests:
- Asking for a brief schedule of the event (e.g., snacks, then dinner, then games)
- Requesting a 5–10 minute warning before transitions between activities
- Asking if a quiet space can be designated for you to use if you feel overwhelmed
Practicing a calming activity, like a meditation or breathing technique, can also help reduce situational anxiety.
Rehearse Answers to Common Questions
To reduce the mental effort of social exchanges, prepare and rehearse scripted answers to frequently asked questions. This can make conversations feel less taxing.
Examples include questions about:
- How work or school is going
- Your relationship status
- Other recent developments in your life
By understanding potential stressors and preparing ahead, neurodivergent adults can create a more comfortable and enjoyable holiday experience.
How Can Neurodivergent People Handle Seasonal Stressors?
Beyond social gatherings, the holiday season includes other stressful elements like decorating, disrupted routines, and a lack of understanding from others. Navigating these challenges involves prioritizing activities that bring you joy, planning for unstructured time, and communicating your feelings about traditions.
Intentionally Incorporate Joy
Focus on the parts of the holidays that you genuinely enjoy and find manageable ways to include them. This helps you create a celebratory season that aligns with your preferences.
Examples include:
- Choosing a few meaningful decorations that you enjoy
- Agreeing to exchange gifts only with specific people
- Baking holiday treats for friends instead of hosting a full dinner
Plan for Unstructured Free Time
Research shows that autistic individuals are four times more likely to experience loneliness during the holidays. These feelings often arise during long stretches of unstructured free time, so having a plan can be beneficial.
If you know your office or school will be closed, plan activities you will enjoy.
- Go ice skating
- Schedule coffee with a friend who understands you
- Take a walk in a park
- Volunteer for a cause you care about
Be Open About Your Feelings on Traditions
You have the right to decide which traditions you participate in. If certain customs cause you stress, feel empowered to communicate your needs clearly to family, friends, and coworkers.
It is okay to state that:
- You genuinely do not want a gift
- You prefer not to use wrapping paper
- You would rather not attend gatherings with unfamiliar relatives
- Your feelings about traditions are valid and do not require justification
Creating an Inclusive and Joyful Holiday Season for Everyone
Many neurodivergent adults will likely experience unique challenges during the holidays. By openly discussing these difficulties and sharing effective solutions, we can foster greater acceptance of individual choices and comfort levels.
Everyone deserves a joyous and fulfilling holiday season. By creating space for flexibility and understanding, we can ensure that neurodivergent individuals are included in that joy.
